(Note this is Finlandish. I don’t know what it says, but get a load of all those letters! I figure any bio with the word Oyj in it has got to be great.)
@_PenelopeNYC
Coffee-Drinker, eReader Addict, Mom, Blogger. I’m very busy and important
@BrandBySarah
90% of your problems can be solved by marketing. Solving the other 10% just requires good procrastination skills.
@hmcdani2
I’m really a giant cupcake. Afraid of roller coasters and dry ice
@AnonEmus216
I used to love my old twitter account, then everyone from work found me. This is my new account
@glynette
I have been called a PollyAnna, sugar-coated idealist. I like to think of myself as more optimistic than that
@TylerLClark
I’m not smart. I just wear glasses.
@billyblogs
I’m real and I hope some of my followers are too
@ThatGuySteve08
HOLY CRAP I’M GOING TO BE A DAD! Oh yea, I work in email marketing & I like craft beer too.
@jfloyd
I’m just a boy, standing in front of the world, asking you to follow me.
@iMadiD
do not judge me before u know me, but just to inform u, you won’t like me
@karenrclark
I’ve never been a millionaire but I just know I’d be darling at it
@stndotsidurself
Why talk when you can mock? Why hide your Face like I got Mace? Is it all an act or just a Fact. Maybe if you didn’t drool, you’d be cool. Ran out of room boom
@kamazonia
I’m a Basset Hound aficionado with a mouth like a Syphilitic sailor.
BONUS CONTENT!!
As I scoured the Twitterverse for the most clever bios, I also found some pretty bad ones, too! But they are also funny in their own strange way. I don’t want to embarass anyone so I’ve removed the handles, but I couldn’t resist some of these clunkers:
Fascinated by transactional nature of counterknowledge & public discourse in socially mediated spaces which simulate (but don’t engender) counter-public spheresfollow meI’m indifferent to most items on the planet. Some people call me a Social Media Guru. I don’t correct them.I have a dream to gain the freedom to help people Through new products, helping then grow through experiences and achieving their dreams and their freedomJob Opportunity Promoter, I follow back for FREE!!!hello my sexy armadillo. I’ll follow back esp if youre irishWell, as a matter of fact, madam … I am. : )
Illustration: The Darth Vader thing … I made it up.
